Just a call away…

Just a call away…

“It was her idea to have a weekly, scheduled call. She said she needed to be emotionally prepared to speak to me. She told me it was too upsetting to just hear my voice unexpectedly. I didn’t understand, but I complied. I hoped it would be a temporary arrangement. It wasn’t. For twelve years, it was how we communicated. I told her about my decision to elope on one of our scheduled calls. When I found out I was pregnant I waited until a Thursday to share the news. And since Violet was born on a Wednesday night I waited until the appropriate time the next day to inform my mother she had a granddaughter.” – Annabel O’Conner, PLAN BEA

women on phone

In marketing material, I like to say that Plan Bea is an emotional and honest women’s fiction novel that tugs at your heartstrings. And when I say it, I say it first hand… Because when I wrote the book, there were many times when I brought myself to tears! I’m fortunate I have an amazing mother. She has always put me first; made me feel loved, and took great care of me. I was fourteen when my dad passed away. It was a difficult time for both of us, but she took on a “dad’s role” too, and made sure that I didn’t miss out on anything because I no longer had a father. I love to admit she is my best friend.

I call my mother daily. Sometimes more. I can talk to her for hours. I can’t imagine not having an open relationship with my mom. Unlike Annabel, when something major happens to me in my life, it is my mom I reach out to first. It broke my heart to write about how Annabel and Bea only spoke once a week, on a Thursday, while Bea drove for her weekly manicure appointment.

But I guess every family and relationship is different. There really isn’t a right or wrong. Not everyone can be super close like me and my mom. I know that there are reasons for every relationship’s dynamic. It is sad, many times, unlike Annabel and Bea, people don’t try to understand their relationships. They take them simply at face value. But I believe it is good to follow Annabel and Bea’s lead. They dug deep to explore their pasts in order to attempt to better understand and communicate with each other.

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20 thoughts on “Just a call away…

  1. I can attest to the fact that Plan Bea made me tear up more than once, especially towards the end. Family dynamics are interesting and mysterious. None are ever the same and I always like to say that no matter what, every family has some type of drama in it… 😉

    1. Susi – I think you are totally right. I don’t think that there is any family that is drama free… Just some families have more than others…

  2. Drama is what makes families entertaining! I adored this book and Bea because I envisioned her as the kind of mom I would want as a friend later in life!

    1. Kisma – thanks! I think Bea does have the power to be a great friend… She sure is helping Cecelia in Plan Cee 🙂

  3. I’m lucky that I speak to my son every day, since we share a home.

    I wish I could speak to my mom–to both of my parents–now. I haven’t heard my mother’s voice in seventeen years, and it’s been twenty-five since Dad left us.

    Cherish every conversation you have with your mom, Hilary.

    1. Norma – I do… I hear you about your dad… In September, it will be 28 years for me that my dad passed…

  4. I like the passage, Hilary. I do find that some family dynamics end up becoming dysfunctional, and they’re likely to stay that way. I doubt I’ll ever trust either of my sisters again.

    1. William – I am sorry. It is sad. I think that more families are dysfunctional than not to some degree…

  5. Have hung on waiting for this to go on sale. Picked both it and Dangled Caret this week. Thanx so much

  6. I can’t even imagine what my life would be without you in it. You are and always have been the most important person in the world to me. Thank you for being you.

    1. Loretta – I can’t imagine having a different mother either. I totally scored the jackpot with you! Love you!

  7. I also used to go to my mom first. Toward the end of her life, she was showing the beginning signs of dementia, so I had to keep myself from calling her so she wouldn’t worry. She’s been gone for 19 months, and there are still days that it hurts to not have her here. One of my sisters told me that her death didn’t affect her as much; she didn’t have that same relationship with her. It’s strange that even within families the relationships are different.
    Can’t wait to read the book! 🙂

    1. Mary – I am so sorry about your mom…. It must have been so hard to have “lost her” before she passed. And i know that these 19 month had to be so difficult for you. Sending big hugs. It is very odd to realize how different relationships are, even with the same people… While these months are hard, I think you are the lucky one because you had such a great relationship with your mom…

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