“It was her idea to have a weekly, scheduled call. She said she needed to be emotionally prepared to speak to me. She told me it was too upsetting to just hear my voice unexpectedly. I didn’t understand, but I complied. I hoped it would be a temporary arrangement. It wasn’t. For twelve years, it was how we communicated. I told her about my decision to elope on one of our scheduled calls. When I found out I was pregnant I waited until a Thursday to share the news. And since Violet was born on a Wednesday night I waited until the appropriate time the next day to inform my mother she had a granddaughter.” – Annabel O’Conner, PLAN BEA
In marketing material, I like to say that Plan Bea is an emotional and honest women’s fiction novel that tugs at your heartstrings. And when I say it, I say it first hand… Because when I wrote the book, there were many times when I brought myself to tears! I’m fortunate I have an amazing mother. She has always put me first; made me feel loved, and took great care of me. I was fourteen when my dad passed away. It was a difficult time for both of us, but she took on a “dad’s role” too, and made sure that I didn’t miss out on anything because I no longer had a father. I love to admit she is my best friend.
I call my mother daily. Sometimes more. I can talk to her for hours. I can’t imagine not having an open relationship with my mom. Unlike Annabel, when something major happens to me in my life, it is my mom I reach out to first. It broke my heart to write about how Annabel and Bea only spoke once a week, on a Thursday, while Bea drove for her weekly manicure appointment.
But I guess every family and relationship is different. There really isn’t a right or wrong. Not everyone can be super close like me and my mom. I know that there are reasons for every relationship’s dynamic. It is sad, many times, unlike Annabel and Bea, people don’t try to understand their relationships. They take them simply at face value. But I believe it is good to follow Annabel and Bea’s lead. They dug deep to explore their pasts in order to attempt to better understand and communicate with each other.
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How often do you speak to those closest to you?