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A year ago today….

A year ago today….

A year ago today I didn’t want to open my eyes. I was afraid of what I was going to find when I did. I tried not to fall asleep the night before, but I failed.  I was angry with myself, because I knew I wasted precious time.

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Eyes open, my fears were reality. Alex, our beloved elderly cat, the brave one who had his tail amputated due to Cancer the year before, was struggling. He was uncomfortable, he was weak from not eating in days, and his nose still was bleeding…

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He cried the night before.  A heart wrenching plea that my husband, Marc, and I tried to ignore.  We were clinging on to the hope that the trip to the vet earlier in the day would help him.  That somehow the shot he received would save him.  We wanted that so badly.

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But it wasn’t to be.  He cried again that morning.  Marc and I knew we had no choice.  We had to help our little boy, our cat that we loved with all our hearts, stop hurting.  We had to give him peace.  We called the vet and waited.

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Alex was so brave those last few hours.  He was happy. He wiggled his little stumpy and assured us that we made the right decision.  He made sure we knew how much he loved us, and we did the same.

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Alex was a remarkable feline. He adopted me into his heart almost immediately.  The love, attention and care he received from Marc and I made him overcome his rough start and fear of people. Alex had a larger than life personality. He touched so many people and made so many people laugh.  He was a true character, right down to his love for Cesar salad.

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Alex was fortunate to find the love of his life, Gracie.

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Saying goodbye to Alex was one of the hardest things Marc and I had to do.  We loved that little man so much, and there isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t miss and think of him.   summer 2008 035

 

I can’t believe that a year has passed.  But it has. Our love for Alex still is strong. It was hard for us to decide to adopt Lucy, but we did so because we knew that Alex would want us to rescue another cat and shower them with as much love and attention that we did him.

 

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So we adopted… And we know that Alex approves of his sister, who is so similar to him in many ways, that we feel she shares his soul.  After all, isn’t that the true meaning of nine lives?

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Alex, sweet boy, we will always love you and miss you.  You will always hold a special place in our hearts.  And when we close our eyes at night, we will always see you wagging your little stumpy.

Love you buddy,

Mommy, Daddy and Lucy

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I also want to thank all my friends in the Cat Blogosphere – your support and love meant and still means the world to me…

86 thoughts on “A year ago today….

  1. That was such a wonderful tribute to my handsome guy. I will love that Alex forever and he is always with me, where ever I go, whatever I do.

    1. Gracie – I know how much you love Alex – he loves you just as much. You made my boy so happy and filled his days with love and joy – you actually kept him young! He will always be with you, as he is us… we are so lucky to have loved him…

    1. Sometimes – I am sorry about the leaky eyes – ours have been the same way here… He was a very special little boy who will always be loved and missed…

  2. Oh Alex, what a lovely tribute this is to you. We love seeing all the pictures of you and visiting you. We send the peeps many hugs and purrs. We know this is a hard day for them. I cannot believe it is a whole year either.

    1. Marg – I am sending you big hugs back – I can’t believe it has been a year either – sometimes if feels much longer and other times it feels like it was yesterday

  3. What a lovely tribute to Alex.

    After Whiskers died we too were broken hearted and made the decision to help another cat in his memory. Thus Scylla & Charybdis came to live with us, and made their own places in our hearts. But we truly believe that rescuing another dog or cat is also a way to honor the pet we loved so much. We are sure that Alex approves of Lucy and that part of him lives in her. (we are saying this badly words are so hard to convey meaning sometimes)

    Hugs and Sympathy on the anniversary of Alex’s loss, we knows you will always miss him, he was a remarkable cat.

    1. Alasandra – you actually said it perfectly – I know what you mean and feel the same way… I think a big part of Alex lives within Lucy – she is so similar! I agree about the rescuing another is the best way to honor our beloved pets – I truly feel like Alex finally rested when we brought her home

  4. A wonderful tribute to Dear Alex. I know how much he is missed by all (including me) but like I always told you, I truly believe both humans & pets go on to a better place where there is no more hurting anymore.

    1. Loretta – I know you miss your grandson a lot too – he was a very special boy who was so deeply loved. I know he is running free now with all his friends…

  5. Oh my my friend you have me crying my eyes out. I cannot believe it has been a year….I remember when I heard from you letting me know that Alex was gone. So many of us cried with you and still feel his loss. Do you know I STILL have his bumper sticker hanging in my kitchen? Alex watches me at the kitchen sink EVERY DAY. I would never remove that sticker,
    Alex was blessed to have such loving parents and he knew it, that is why he sent precious Lucy to you so you could share that love with another kitty who is blessed to have found the two of you.
    I was told that when I adopted Cody after Bobo passed and I deeply believe it.
    We love Alex and always will and we love you!
    Thanks for sharing this beautiful post.
    Caren, Cody and Dakota
    xoxo

    1. Caren – I can’t believe it is a year either. I remember ever detail of that morning – and the days leading up to it. I started emailing you earlier that day to tell you what I thought would happen, but things moved too fast and that email never was finished. I love that you have Alex’s sticker in your kitchen. I have one up in my office, actually too. One looks over me and the other looks out on my staff. I like to know he is watching over all of us… I agree with you – Alex sent us Lucy and when he did, he finally rested. He is happy now, and so is she….

  6. Your beautiful tribute to Alex has us leaky eyed. We can’t believe it’s a year already. We know he’s watching over you and Lucy and smiling that you are giving your love to another kitty who needs it..

    (((Hugs)))
    The Florida Furkids and Mom Sharon

    1. Fl Furkids – sorry about the leaky eyes… where does time go? I agree, he sees Lucy and knows that she is spoiled rotten and loved to pieces and his heart smiles!

  7. That was a beautiful post for beloved Alex. It’s hard to believe a year has passed so quickly. We know he’s always with you, waiting to be reunited one day.

    Hugs, purrs and peace.

    1. Bellen – you summed it up perfectly. It is so hard to loss but the pain doesn’t come close to the joy that the love brought…

  8. We know how much you miss him….and we have to say we are heart broken for you. But….you were brave enough to let him go when it was time, and brave enough to open your hearts to Lucy – and that is a testiment to your love for Alex.

    1. Random – thanks so much – both letting go and opening up our hearts to Lucy was hard, but it is funny, we both felt like it was something we had to do for alex.

  9. Alex was lucky to have been loved by you two and you two were lucky to be loved by him. We all know cats don’t love as easily as dogs but when the do give their hearts it is 200% of unconditional love.
    Yes he would be so thrilled to see Lucy being loved.
    Hugs madi and Mom

    1. Madi & Mom – it is funny, I was always a dog girl – never even liked cats. But what Alex taught me, and what you said, about when they finally open their hearts they give 200% unconditional love – is what made me change my mind. We, who are loved by a cat, are very lucky!

  10. I’m so sorry he had to leave you and we certainly know how hard it is. Any pawparent of a beloved furbaby knows how you can sufffer when it’s time to say goodbye. I’m so happy you have adopted Lucy now. While she can’t replace Alex, she can give you all her love and it gives you another kitty to focus on, love, care for and enjoy while still remembering Alex. I’m sure he would approve.

    1. Mario – thanks so much…. You are right. Lucy can never replace Alex, nor would we want to. But loving her keeps his memory alive – And alex loves that another fur baby gets to enjoy all the love and attention he did..

  11. That is a wonderful tribute. We are all leaky eyes.
    The knowledge that we shall all meet again and be forever young in the sunshine allows us to keep on and allow others into our hearts.
    Purrs from all of us
    Timmy and Family

    1. Timmy – thanks so much – sorry about the leak…”we all meet again forever young in the sunshine…” so beautiful. And when I am sad, I will think of those words…

  12. {{hugs}} I know how it is to let that one-in-a-million-kitty go…this post did Alex proud. Love the two photos of the chair, they made me cry!

    1. Trish – It is so hard. And Alex was a one-in-a-million little guy. I have so many pictures of Lucy in the same spot, with the same expression that Alex had. It makes me cry every time too…

    1. katie Kat – I know he is watching over Lucy and keeping her safe… It is funny, sometimes I look at her and I could swear she was talking to Alex…

  13. Time goes very fast doesn’t it? A year already? Alex was such a joy to read about. Wonderful boy, great pictures! And I was so glad when you decided to adopt Lucy. Love heals the heart.

    1. Goldie – it sure does.. I can’t believe a year has passed. It blows my mind… Adopting Lucy was so hard, but like you I am so glad that we did. I feel that Alex needed to know we were taking care and loving another “friend” of his… Love doesn’t totally mend the heart, but it does heal the hurt.

  14. Purrs to you today on this tough anniversary. My human does not remember the day she lost the cat before me… I think she blocked it out of her memory on purpose because she is usually very good with dates.

    1. Connie – that poem is beautiful. I know when I go to bed tonight those words will stay with me and give me sweet dreams.

  15. It just seems impossible that it was a full 365 days ago.
    Your life was so blessed by the many years Alex shared with you and still does.. Love never stops.
    He would want that love to continue on, and it has. His spirit lives there still within those spaces he once embraced.
    It is good that you and Marc have taken into your hearts a new life to nurture and adore, and I know Alex would definitely approve, in fact I think he already did by leading you to your dear little girl.
    Thank you for sharing Alex with us and for such a touching tribute to your sweet little guy.

    1. abby – i know – how can 365 days have passed? crazy – even though the house looks so different now (construction and sandy) we see Alex everywhere and we feel his spirit just as much. I firmly believe he brought us to Lucy too

  16. What a beautiful message to beautiful Alex. What a blessing he was to you, just as you were blessings to him. Surely his spirit lives on in Lucy, and in other ways that I am sure you see all around you.

    We send love, hugs and gentle purrs and prayers to you, dear friends.

  17. Fantastic and loving tribute to your Alex. I cried a few tears for you, and a few for my Macy – Macy died 8 years ago next week. But I will now go and give my Jerry a huge hug because he helped to mend my broken heart. Like your Lucy, Jerry is so much like Macy. My husband says Macy’s soul jumped into him. Perhaps Alex did the same with Lucy 🙂 I love reading your journal about her, and about your journey which I can relate to on so many levels.

    1. Diana – thanks so much. It makes me feel so good to know that you can relate… I love what you husband says about Jerry and Macy – Marc and I say the same thing about Alex and Lucy. We don’t know where the soul jumping took place (my vote is when she was born – I was possessed when i first saw her picture on the Humane Society that rescued her Facebook’s page) and Marc thinks it was in the car ride home as we swaddled her in Alex’s travel towels… Give Jerry a hug from me…

  18. What a great tribute to a great fellow feline. * bows head for a moment of respectful silence *

    Alex will be missed but he was SUCH a guy you just be proud to have known sich a great cat.

    Dash Kitten and
    Marjorie

  19. What a heart-felt, beautiful tribute for your special boy Alex. Our thoughts and purrs go out to you today as the 1st Anniversary of their passing is often a tough one. It is incredibly special that your sweet little Lucy has some of Alex’s soul, what a blessing.

    1. Clooney – thanks so much. The first year is always the hardest. Isn’t it amazing that Lucy and Alex share a soul?

  20. When reading Brian’s Home blog, we had always wondered why Gracie wore the heart with the name Alex. We found out today when we read that blog. Though we’ve been to your blog, we were reading neither Brian’s or your’s a year ago. Our hearts and Mom’s go out to you. She, especially, knows how heartbreaking it is to lose your special, beloved boy. You are in our hearts and prayers. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauridio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

    1. Kitties Blue – thanks so much. I am blown away that every picture of Gracie has the Alex heart – It is such an amazing tribute to my Alex and the love that they shared…

  21. what a wonderful tribute to alex. my eyes are all leaky now and i have the sniffles. i felt alex would live many years after beating cancer. he looked so cute with his little stub. it made him all the more special.

    1. Momsbusy – I know what you mean. I felt the same way. Marc and I weren’t even that concerned last year. We figured alex was going through a rough patch. we always thought he had a lot more fight in him. That little stumpy of his was the cutest. how I wish I could see it wiggle one more time

  22. Hilary, can’t believe it’s been a year already. It feels so much shorter… I was thinking about our sweet Macy and can hardly believe it’s been six months. We still call her sometimes to get food that fell to the ground… 🙁 It’s good that you have Lucy to brighten your days.

    1. Susi – I know – time really flies. I can’t believe it is a year for Alex or 6 months for Macy – we do the same thing, even now, and call Alex – usually Lucy just comes…

  23. What a wonderful tribute to your handsome Alex=such a special sweetheart in so many ways; love is an energy that never dies and in that way, your precious boy will always be with you, his love alive in your hearts forever…Wishing you guys comfort, sending big hugs to you both, kisses to your darling Lucy…J, Calle, Halle, Sukki, Mommy Cat, Daddy Cat

    1. Jacqueline – thanks so much – he was an amazing little man who will always live in our hearts and souls…

  24. My heart aches for you. Your beautiful post made me cry for Alex and for my own dear Gracie who went to the bridge three weeks ago.
    If we didn’t love so much we wouldn’t feel the loss so deeply.
    I’m so glad you have Lucy.

    1. Maggie – I am so sorry about Gracie – saying goodbye is so hard, but you are right, it wouldn’t be so hard if we didn’t love them so much…

  25. <3 It's hard to lose a cat, we lost one of ours almost a year ago and i miss him so very much.
    You have a new kitty to shower love on, and lots of memories of Alex. You're so lucky to have both of those things, just as i am lucky to still have Jeff.
    Cats are very much hard work, but i do love them.

    1. k – I am so sorry for your loss. You are right, losing a pet is so hard. they really hold a special place in your heart which is filled with so much love. I am lucky to have Lucy, and I am glad you still have Jeff. But regardless, the pain and sadness of our loss remains….and always will

  26. I still can’t believe how much Alex looks like my Beavis. I know how it feels to continually miss them after they are gone. I still cry sometimes thinking of the doggies and kitties who have shared my life and gone on to their next place.

    1. Janet – I know..I always think the same thing when I go to your blog and see a picture of Beavis… I think the pain eases, but the sadness never fully goes away. Pets really touch our hearts..

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