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A blog, a spouse and some questions

A blog, a spouse and some questions

As my husband, Marc, and I left our house and walked to his car to begin our weekly pilgrimage to Costco, his phone buzzed alerting him to a new email.   He glanced down to check the email.

 

“Oh, it is your blog,” he announced.  “Which one is it today?  Do I have to read it or can I just delete it?”  He asked.

 

I knew what he meant, after all most of the time he already knows the stories without having to read them.  And why wouldn’t he.   He usually has lived through them, either in real time or through my play by play over dinner.  Also, since I usually write them in advance of my posting, many times I have him read them way before I hit publish.

 

But, despite this, I wanted to play with him a bit.  “Oh, you can delete it.” I retorted.  “You can delete all of them.  And, to make sure you don’t get junk mail in the future I can delete your subscription.” 

 

He knew I was playing, and started playing back. “OH, NO!” he begged.  “Don’t do that… I don’t want that to happen, not one bit.”

 

“Well then, behave yourself,” I scolded, “and read like a good boy.  Otherwise I will have to take drastic actions.  And don’t worry, you won’t be the first person to stop following. I have lost followers before.”

 

And this exchange made me wonder a few things:

 

  •       Does your significant other read your blog?
  •       Do you track your followers, and do you let it bother you when you lose one?
  •       Do you un-follow blogs? And if you do, why?

48 thoughts on “A blog, a spouse and some questions

  1. Good questions!!! My hubby follows my blog but does not always read it “thoroughly”. He is a skimmer. Which is fine. He usually knows what I am blogging about anyway. And sometimes I can sneak things in on him. 🙂 I watch when someone new follows and try to visit their blog if they have one and if it looks interesting I will follow but I have become choosier about which ones I follow. Which leads to the next question. When I first started blogging and following others I subscribed to just about a zillion blogs. Well, that clogs up my google reader big time. So I have tried to start whittling it down. I prefer the email subscription option and that is basically all I have on my blog because it is just easier for me that way. I can preview the blog and then not read it if I don’t want to. I don’t worry if someone drops off my readership because I know that my blog is not for everyone. Good questions, Hilary!!! Be interesting to see what everyone else says!

    1. Beth Ann – thanks for answering… Your hubby sounds like mine, especially the skimmer part. Marc isn’t much of a reader. In fact, if he wants to learn something, or read up on something, he doesn’t do the reading, but instead has me read and give him a book report. So, when he even partially reads my blog i feel honored! I also prefer to have emails of blogs rather than just following. Sometimes I also find, after I switched to wordpress, that my google reader doesn’t always update with all the blogs I follow, but email always works. I have actually never stopped following someone. I try not to care too much when I lose followers, but I do. I always wonder who they were and why they left….

    1. Corey – you are right… it is part of the entertainment, but being the crazy girl that I am, I always feel bad when I lose a follower and wonder why…

  2. Yes, my sweetie Scylla reads my blog every day, and no I don’t get upset if I lose any followers, that is just part of the blogging world and we can’t take it purrsonally. I have quit following some that, after a period of time, got nasty or inappropriate as I only have time to be positive and upbeat about life. Those were really good questions!

    1. Brian – thanks for answering…. I have been dying to ask these questions. Your sweet Scylla sounds like a wonderful lady. You are very lucky! You have a good outlook. you are right that when we lose a follower that we shouldn’t take it personally, but I always do wonder why… You are doing a great job staying possitive and upbeat, not to mention helping so many cats & humans at the same time… I know you and your family have helped Alex & me more than you know..

  3. My husband will read my blog sometimes, but most of the time I post about things that are not interesting to him… lol

    I keep an eye on how many followers I have, but don’t necessarily know WHO it following. And I’ve been known to unfollow blogs, but it doesn’t haven’t very often. 🙂

    1. Jenni – I am the same way… I don’t really know who is following or who left, but I always know my number… I have actually never unfollowed a blog. If they blogger stops writting, or I no longer find it interesting, I just skip over it…

  4. I don’t have a significant other to follow or not follow the blog, so…

    I have unfollowed blogs when the person in question has consolidated their blogs into a single one from several, for example. Or if the person has pretty much given up blogging and has gone for months with no new material.

  5. My husbands reads it when he gets a chance but he doesn’t follow me. It’s nice to have followers, I don’t track however, but always do follow back. The only time I unfollow is when it crosses the line in some form such as racist or sexist. Did I answer all of the questions?

    1. Victoria’s view – I didn’t give marc the choice to follow me.. I did it for him! I guess that is the problem with knowing someone’s passwords 🙂 I always track the number of followers and it drives me crazy when I lose people. I always wonder why. I have never unfollowed someone. I usually follow back, especially when the person leaves a comment. But, I have to admit I don’t always follow back, especially if the blog is more of an advertising space than an actual blog, if you know what I mean.

  6. Does your significant other read your blog?——-NO!!! Only if I make him. If he reads either of my blogs at all it is Dakota’s. that is his “golden child”

    Do you track your followers, and do you let it bother you when you lose one? Yes I do track my followers and yep it does bother me when I lose one because I always start wondering who it is and why they stopped following.

    Do you un-follow blogs? And if you do, why? yes I have unfollowed blogs for a variety of reasons. One is if the person hasn’t updated in months…in that case it is like “what is the point of my following them?”

    If I comment on someone’s blog and I NEVER and I mean NEVER receive a comment back (yes I know people get busy and can’t comment every day because I am the same. Especially now, I am so busy that this week I have missed two days in a row of reading/commenting) but that isn’t what I mean. I mean they NEVER leave a comment. Everyone likes to be noticed. To me if they don’t care enough to read/comment even once a week then I don’t care enough to do the same for them.

    Turn about is fair play!

    1. Caren – I used to have to make Marc read mine too, but then I signed him up for an email subscription… 🙂 I think it is cute that Dakota is your hubby’s golden child. Dog for the boy, cat for the girl… I am not suprised about your answer about tracking your followers.. I feel EXACTLY the same way… I try to tell myself I shouldn’t care if someone stops following me, but it does bother me… I have never unfollowed a blog. I understand how you feel about the NEVER commenting. I don’t like that either, and while I may not un-follow, I tend to skip over those blogs. You are right, we all get busy, but it is just fair to return the favor of reading and commenting. In a perfect world, I would like to read and comment back on everyone’s blog who comments on mine, but that is very hard to do. But, I do try to make sure I visit everyone at least once a week, and more often when time permits…

  7. You go weekly to Costco? We go about every 4 to 6 weeks. Then I pick up some things like milk, etc. when needed. So what do you spend each week? We spend around $400.+ when we go. No one in the family reads like they use to 🙁 , it’s their loss! No I do not track my followers. When the numbers were smaller maybe I did but not anymore. No I do not delete because I don’t ever want to hurt anybody by doing that. That is why I have close to 1,400 in my reader. I maybe follow or watch 400 of them!!!

    1. Debby – we do go to costco weekly, but it isn’t as bad as it seems. We usually spend around $200. Where I live, it takes just as long to drive to a good supermarket as it does to go to Costco. we mostly buy fruits and veggies there, so it is much cheaper. And, somehow we eat all of it in the week (we are pretty healthy eaters). and in the summer, with the amount of entertaining we do…… I love the way you say it is your families loss 🙂 so true! I feel the same way you do.. I never unfollowed someone, but I have to admit, it does bother me when I lose a follower…

  8. Yes, my boyfriend reads my blog. Interesting since I actually started it years ago when we broke up, and it was my outlet for complaining about him! I don’t complain about him much anymore. He’s pretty much gotten his act together.

    I have lost a few followers, and it does bother me, but I feel like my “real” bloggy friends are all still around, and that’s what matters. I very rarely unfollow someone, but the few I have it’s those ones that I find myself always skipping in my reader. I followed everyone when I first started blogging, and a lot never returned the favor, and it just gets to be too much to keep up with everyone.

    1. Janet – I am glad he got his act together… And I love that you used your blog as an outlet to complain about him. It is hard to keep up with all the blogs out there. Especially with “real life” I have never unfollowed someone, and I do let it bother me a little when I lose a follower. But I think you said it best, as long as your “real bloggy friends” remain that is all that matters. That is so true, and puts the number game into perspective. After all, isn’t the friendships we make by blogging the best part of blogging?

  9. First I need to find a significant other! LOL!! But seriously – I do have friends who read my blog (they don’t blog but they do read!). I tend to follow you if you follow me. And of course it bothers me when I lose followers cos I want to know why! LOL!

    I’ve had my blog for 18 months now and only ever un-followed one – because this particular blog was supposed to be a literary agent’s blog but it kept advertising for things like funiture shops, various consultancy services – every hour – so my dashboard cluttered up with just adverts from this blog. I nearly commented asking what business was a supposed literary agent doing advertising furniture!?!? But this was/is the only time I’ve un-followed.

    Anyway! Hope you and hubby had a great time at Costco! Take care
    x

    1. Old Kitty – I always want to know why someone unfollows too (as well as who they were). When someone follows you you get a notification from google friend connect. Wouldn’t it be cool if part of the unfollow process was to also send an email alerting you to who unfollowed and why (say multiple choice questions of why they unfollowed?)

      Literary agent & furniture shops? Makes sense why you unfollowed! Have a great weekend too!

  10. No spouse here, so that answers the first question.

    I don’t usually track followers, even though I haven’t many. I can’t even imagine why someone would want to read my blog–I started it for myself, to on-line “journal” and for my parents, who each live on separate coasts, with me in the middle, and a couple of long-distance friends. (My Musings blog, I mean, not the cats’ blog.) My life is so small that there’s nothing of interest, IMO, so it surprises me when someone follows. A few have left and if I’m not in PMS week I just shrug and go “whatever.” LOL. It’s not like I’m running a business with my blog.

    I have un-followed — those who haven’t blogged in a number of months, blogs that don’t mesh with my own interests that I felt obliged to follow, for whatever reason. And in the Cat Blogosphere, I’ve un-followed a few who, in spite of my regular commenting, have never reciprocated, even when Annie was sick and then had to be helped to the “Bridge.” It’s a two-way street, IMO. Also, there have been a couple of blogs where the humans have let their cats roam and breed at will and while kittens indeed are cute, it flies in the face of everything I hold near and dear–namely spay/neuter, adoption, etc. I would only say something rude and sarcastic and cutting to them, no point in working myself up into a lather by continuing to follow them.

    1. Fuzzy Tales – I don’t even know if I knew about your musings blog… I love the reason why you started it… so cool! You are right, it doesn’t really matter why someone left, and it doesn’t hurt us if they do, however, I always feel bad and wonder why they left. I hear you about feeling bad about people not commenting back, despite your regular commenting. While I don’t unfollow, I tend to skip those blogs. But, if i were in your shoes, when Annie passed, and those bloggers didn’t comment, etc, I think I would be so hurt I would unfollow too. It reminds me of when Alex had his tail amputated. A few days before, someone must have followed me from one of the blog hops. I don’t know. my mind was on Alex. Days later, on a post I wrote about bringing him home, this woman wrote, “I followed you on Friday from the hop. You haven’t followed me back yet. Please follow.” She didn’t even have the interest to read the post I wrote, which was so emotional, or the compassion to understand I was going through a very tough time… If I had it in me at the time, I would have looked into blocking her…I was so mad! Thanks for answering my questions..

  11. no spouse, so don’t have that. My mom has us bookmarked, but I don’t think she reads it much.

    I admit to watching the number of followers. If I see it go up I will check to see who joined. I don’t get too wound of if they leave….

    I have unfollowed a few – mainly if they just aren’t posting to try to pare down my reading list. I do admit I don’t comment as much as I would like to sometimes… And as to the lady who made the follow comment after Alex’s surgery….that takes some nerve. I am not going to follow someone just to do it – I need to have some interest in what you are writing about.

    1. Random Felines – My mom reads pretty much daily, and I even taught her to comment. I think it is natural for us to watch the number of followers. I wish I was more like you and didn’t get wound up when they leave… I usually comment on all the posts I read, because I like the blogger to know I have been there, but sometimes that just isn’t possible. I do feel bad that I can’t read as much as I like… but, blogging sure is a time consuming hobby! Everytime I think of that lady and her comment, my blood boils a little. It annoys me enough when people ask you to follow them back, but I give them props for trying to build their following. But, to do so on such an emotional post, really takes a special someone!

  12. My husband does subscribe to my blog. Whether he actually reads the posts, I’m not sure, but I appreciate the support…sort of…can’t exactly blog too much about him if I know he might read. Darn!
    And I do watch my followers, and do get disappointed when I see the numbers drop. I guess it’s all part of the blogging game. I, however, will never unfollow someone. I don’t see the point. If I follow, it’s because the blogger was worth the effort for me to click on the button. I won’t read all of the bloggers that I follow, but I feel like that “follow” is my way of saying, “I was here and I liked you!”

    1. Sandra – I don’t think mine is an active reader either.. but I try to make him be… Many days I quiz him with “did you read my blog” but sadly, the answer is usually no… You sound like me… I don’t unfollow either… I don’t really understand the point. I cared enough to follow in the first place, why hurt their feelings and leave. If they don’t write actively, or I am no longer interested, I can just skip their posts.. thanks for answering the questions!

  13. –Mr. Liverpool read all my blogs. And I test him…

    He’ll say, “how are you today?’ and I’ll say, “Didn’t you read my blog, Dude?”

    Tell your hubs he must read your blog! Or he’ll be missing his dinner. X

  14. Brad plays dumb when I mention the blog. He’s like, what’s that? And I know he knows what I’m talking about. So no, he hasn’t read it. Sometimes I show him the pictures or tell him what I wrote about. Reading isn’t his thing and like you said, he has lived through most of it or hears about most of it over dinner.
    It does kind of stink when someone stops following my blog. I try not to dwell on it though because then I end up analyzing everything to see what I did wrong. I have to remind myself that it’s their loss, not mine.
    I have unfollowed blogs before. One was in spite of someone who stopped following mine. It was early when I only had a handful of followers so I could tell who left. I’m not exactly proud of that, but it felt good at the time. I have also unfollowed blogs that stopped posting or that changed to another platform, but then I tried to follow or subscribe to them on the new one. The only other scenario was when I stopped following a blog where the author started posting foul things, but that was just one time.

    1. Jennifer – It does stink when you lose a follower… I try not to let it bother me also, but I can’t help but wonder why. I don’t give it too much thought because I know there are a lot of people (and companies out there) that follow blogs & twitters just so the person they follow follows them back and then they drop them… I always also wonder who left and why. It is easy to figure out when you are small, and I can so understand why you stopped unfollowing the blog that you did…

  15. My hubby is a “peeker”. I never know when or how much he reads……he’ll just surprise me one day with a question related to my post. then weeks could go by with nothing. I think once he saw that I wasn’t writing about him – as in spouse bashing or stupid spouse things, he relaxed a bit.

    I see the number of my followers via the GFC gadget — so I guess if I lost a follower, I would be minus one. which hasn’t happened to my knowledge. The amount it would bother me, would depend on who unfollowed. And I do always try to visit a new follower. Make sure your profile has the link to your own blog people!!

    Yes, I have unfollowed. but in rare cases. Once, the blog was suddenly by invite only – so I couldn’t follow it. And a few times I when I have noticed that there has been no update for at least 6 months. I doubt very much That person cares I unfollowed.

    1. RoryBore – Marc sometimes surprises me with a comment about my blog…. when he does I love it! So much fun… I think it is cool that you never lost a follower.. The problem when you do, once you have more than a handful is you can’t tell who left. That is the part that always makes me wonder… But, as someone wrote earlier, as long as that someone isn’t one of my blog friends, it doesn’t really matter. I didn’t know you could do a blog by invite only… Seriously, what is the point in that? why not just send emails?

  16. Hi Hilary,
    I am new to your blog…I honestly can’t retrace the succession of links that led me to the link-up where you listed your blog, but I am glad to have found it, because your two most recent posts made me laugh! First of all, our cat walks all over us and our belongings, too. She has actually sat on my laptop while I am working on it, demanding my attention…but I would not have it any other way!

    Your other post about blogging questions…my husband subscribes to my blog via email and reads it, too. I know he doesn’t fully understand its benefits and that blogging can easily be a full-time job, but it is nice to have his support and to know that he is interested in what I write. He is somewhere in every post, anyway. 🙂

    I unfollow blogs if the author doesn’t update…I figured if they haven’t written anything and don’t come back after three months, they probably aren’t right? I have been unfollowed plenty of times and I wish it didn’t bother me, but deep down, it does. It stings a little bit and I always wonder why they left. Did I offend them? Do they not like what I write? Are my posts boring? … and then you can see how easily this can wear you down! So I try not to take myself too seriously. You can’t please everyone, right?

    Just wanted to say hello and let you know that I am reading along! 🙂

    1. Angie – Thanks so much for saying “hi”! Your cat sounds just like Alex. He sometimes sits down on the computer too (and also types). I am waiting for him to send off an email one of these days 🙂 Your husband sounds like mine. Sometimes I say I have to do something related to blogging and he doeesn’t get it…. He keeps asking, “I thought it was a hobby, how can you have to do something,” But, we do… Unless you blog, I guess you don’t get it… I feel the same way you do about being unfollowed. I wish it didn’t bother me, or that I didn’t realize when it happened, but… I guess I just always wonder why….

  17. I’m new to blogging, but my fiancee has snuck on my blog a few times to see how it was coming along. He offered me yesterday to help with html customization, so I’m excited!

    Following you from the Tuesday Train hop 🙂 I’d love if you checked out mine.
    Hello Dawls

  18. Nope I don’t delete…but I just don’t read some now!! I don’t track either! Oh and my hubby does read my blog so that is cool!
    Glad I stopped by to share Randoming with you
    Hugs
    SueAnn

    1. Sueann – Thanks for Randoming! I don’t read all either, but I feel bad to unfollow… I can’t help but track… It is the first thing I see when bring up my blog….

  19. Honestly, I do not know if my DH reads my blog or not. It’s up to him, I supposed. Track follwers? Hmmm, I don’t think I even know how to do that and even if I did, I don’t believe have time to do it. I mean, blogging each post and visiting my regulars take an enormous amount of time. So, stalking…I mean tracking my followers or lack of followers isn’t part of my agenda. lol. Yes, I have un-followed some blogs. Once upon a time, Blogger said, you can’t add blog because you’re at your limit or something crazy like that. So, I looked through the ones I was following and tried to unsubscribe to those least important to me, which happened to be blogs which solely do give-aways or promotions of baby things. I’m way pass that stage. The odd thing is ever since that thing with Blogger saying I could subscribe to a blog, I haven’t gotten that message again. Thanks for the random! =D

    1. Cathy – I never heard of blogger limiting the number of blogs you could follow. That is strange. I would think they would encourage following. How many did you follow? I don’t track who is following or who left, just the number. I can’t help it…I see it whenever I call up my site….

  20. My hubby doesn’t follow my blog, but he does read it on occasion since he has the feed fed to his Facebook page. I’m always surprised when he refers to something I’ve written, because then I know that he actually read it that day. 😉

    I don’t pay attention to the number of followers – except when I see new followers, then I’ll go follow them back. 🙂

    1. Stacy – isn’t it the best when they surprise you with something they read? I love it! My blog goes on my hubby’s Face Book fed too, but since he pretty much has me update FB for him, that is useless 🙂

  21. My husband reads my blog daily. He usually know what I’m writing about. but never actually read the post until it is live. He also stalks me on Twitter. As far as followers, I don’t keep track that closely. I will unfollow a blog if the content becomes continuously unappealing or the blogger has stopped writing.

    1. Christina – My husband isn’t on twitter, and as for FaceBook, he finally let me set up an account for him in the summer, but he hardly ever uses it. I usually update for him. When he really does post something, all his friends question if it really was him! If I write something that I think he would really like, I make sure he sees it before it goes live, because otherwise, I doubt he would look. But, come to think of it, he still doesn’t read it… I have to read it for him!

  22. I swear I commented on this yesterday!! I’m pretty sure I’m suffering from early onset alzheimers!

    Honeybunny reads my blog – he doesn’t follow so I guess he just remembers to check it regularly. He doesn’t comment but every now and then, in passing he’ll say something to me that lets me know that he’s read one of my posts.

    I do track my followers somewhat – I’m OCD that way – and it does bother me when I lose one. I don’t know why I let it – I guess it’s some kind of approval mechanism for me and losing a following makes me feel like I’ve done something wrong. I follow back on 99.9% of my followers and they constitute about 99% of the blogs I follow, so if one of them un-follows me, I will typically un-follow them as well.

    PS – If I really did comment and this is a duplicate – feel free to delete one of them 😉

    1. Donna – I don’t think you commented, but I think I have early onset too!

      Don’t you love when they comment in passing? So cute… I only track the numbers, not who, so I never know who left… I don’t know why it bothers me, but like you, I wonder why and what I did wrong… UGH!

  23. My husband and two (adult) children read my blog, sometimes they read regularly, other times they skim and sometimes they miss a post and it is funny to hear them trade stories about different posts and then they go back and read what they miss.

    I try to check out a new follower. I don’t track followerers, I don’t have many so if someone unfollows I definitely notice but I don’t research to see who exactly unfollowed me, I have learned to not take it too personal, I mean I am human it stings at first when I see the number go down but then I just keep moving along.

    1. Lucy – Isn’t it the best when the people close to us chat about our blogs… Once at a family dinner my various neices & nephews were talking about posts… made me so happy! I don’t research either (although the crazy side of me would like to) but, you are right… it doesn’t really matter… And we shouldn’t take it personally… I just get curious!

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